Spine

equobenity
for when the world comes in twos
 
Equobenity
The Nature and Structure of Choice
 
demonstrating how
1 + 1 = 1
 
plus
the source of human evil
 
Equobenity refers to a pair
of creative but opposing good things, e. and q.
 
if refers to the structure on which
this pair offers choice
 and has the
possibility
of transcendence
T.
 
Equobenity refers to the failure of e. and q.
failure
located on the structure as u. and o.
failure which, unless rectified,
may disintegrate into uncontrolled loss
g.
 
"Good Things": pairs of e. s and q. s.
 
there are too many "good things" for anyone to make a conclusive list
but here are a few pairs:
 
verbs such as work/play, speak/listen, receive/give, cooperate/resist, adapt/refuse to adapt
•
attitudes such as optimistic/pessimistic, trusting/suspicious, eager/reluctant
•
adjectives such as business-like/mellow, kindly/sharp, humorous/serious
•
nouns such as mutuality/competition, patience/impatience, risk/caution, reassurance/warning
precedence/the new action for a new situation
•
events such as religious holidays/secular holidays, birth/rebirth, sign an agreement/rescind an agreement
life changing event/contentment already
•
 
Story tellers of the world weave all such pairs into thrilling, consoling, meaningful or mysterious tales --
tales for children, tales for adults, tales for the tribe,
tales for today, tales for all time --myths
 
if we don't tell stories we live them anyway
 
any two combinations of e. and q. can become an equobenity
in fact, there is no limit to the combinations
 
•
 
an equobenity is a single pair of two good things:
the e. plus the q.
 
but they are opposites
 
the way day and night are opposites
the way talking and listening are opposites
 
 
humans are always making choices  between two opposite good things
 
 
the number of such pairs can not be counted
they are limitless
why?
because each pair takes place in time
 and has its own context
 
When evaluating any human situation
Context
is the first consideration
•
a few more equobenities
with notes about context:
 
noise obstructs silence
possible context: night at the movies
 
or
silence is a relief from noise
possible context: to step from a city street into a house of worship
 
or
you getting your way means I don't get my way
possible context: Who gets to sit at the front of the bus with Mom?
or
who gets the nomination for President?
 
or
e. I am obedient               q. I like you
possible context: My parents say I can't go out with you.
 
or
 
I will argue with them                I refuse to argue with them
possible context: Their leader is too powerful; I'll find another way, perhaps form my own more conservative party so I can argue these issues from strength.
•
there are
100s, 1000s of these pairs
these equobenities
 
some: subtle
some: obvious
 
some lightning swift
some Paleolithic slow
 
all interesting as long as you happen to notice them
 
bur they can just as easily cause trouble
if you happen to get caught in one
and fall toward the u. or the o.
 
 
the u. and o.?
 
u. and o.
the two failures
that dangle below every e. and q.
 
failure is usually caused by excess
but not always
more later
•
equobenity is a method for diagnosing reality
it is a diagnostic tool
it could be a published book and taken from the self-help shelf of an airport bookstore
 
it is a map for identifying
one's own location in the moment of context
a map to identify the location of
your family
your community
your nation
old nations, new nations
the state of the arts
 the weather for death and the maiden
 
EQUOBENITY IS A MAP TO USE IN THE DEFINING OF A DILEMMA
•    •    •
One equobenity is one pair of opposites
 
up/down is one pair of opposites
up/down is an equobenity
 
obedience/disobedience is one pair of opposites
obedience/disobedience is an equobenity
 
Why?
 
because both sides are good
valid, useful, of benefit
 
when used appropriately
when used without doing harm
when used as the context requires
 
•    •    •
one equobenity:
you persist/you give up
when you persist you are obstructed from giving up
 
which is to say:
you are not giving up if you persist;
(giving up has gone offstage)
you are not persisting if you give up
(persisting has gone offstage)
 
doing one obstructs the other
however, when the choice is made, completed, finished
both sides go away
and !!
and the next equobenity appears
 
•    •    •
an equobenity is two things
the way a hammer is two things
pounding in and pulling out
 
and yet--
 
an equobenity is also one thing in the way a hammer is one thing
 
but that's where the likeness ends
because hammers are always hammers
 
and an equobenity flies apart
when its context is no longer relevant
 
in very specific circumstances
persistence is what is required
and
in different circumstances
giving up is what is required
 
•    •    •
etymology of "equobenity":
adjective, plus prefix, plus noun
 
adjective: equ equal
prefix: ob opposing
noun: bene benefits or good things
 
•    •    •
OTHER PAIRS OF OPPOSITES:
competition/coordination
slow/fast
resist/submit
I obey my guru/I listen but don't obey
to fill/ to empty
to want for myself/to want for you
work/leisure
avocation/job
deny/assent
I want to be unique/I want to be like others
 
to work for my party/to work for my country
to work for my country/to work for the world
 
to put myself first/to put another, others, my country first
 
to love/to respect
to say "no"/to say "yes"
that which is spiritual/that which is material
 
to repudiate/to accept
accept with pleasure/ accept with embarrassment
head work, intellect /hand work, crafts, cooking, piano playing
 
internal validation/external validation
 
I need money/ I need purpose
 
Here's a tough one:
I love the man (or woman I should love/ I love the man (or woman) I should not  love
 
•    •    •
 
so far we've only touched a small part of equobenity's structure,
the e. and the q.
 
 
 
Here is the u. and the o.
 
all the above listed equobenities are definitely good things
when in the right context
 
but
each one can and will change
 
because
 
contexts change
because we change
 
and
 
here lurks a warning:
 
 when one side has produced results
exactly as was hoped and planned
 
and has been doing this regularly for a long time
(your work maybe, your interactions with people)
 
!
suddenly
!
 
all that you have created,
all that you have made happen  --loses its edge,
its meaning,
even its reputation
 
what has been moving along smoothly
seems more like a habit
 
also –and worse-
 it isn't working as well:
 
you get a lot of complaints, no one calls
you feel you must have done something wrong
you are unwanted
you are not even consulted!
and you suddenly feel inadequate --in everything, not just work
 
what was once
creative and beneficial
productive and enjoyable
has gone bad
 
what has happened?
 
•    •   •
 
you have fallen into one or more impoverished modes
the u. and/or the o.
 
 everything you were satisfied with
has fallen down
in the direction of its own
impoverished mode
it can go down
(though one can always realize what is happening and come right up)
and down
and
eventually
it will land deep
 
deep into its impoverished mode
 
•    •    •
when we are down in one or more impoverished modes
 we do harm
to ourselves
and
to others
 
human evil
has its source in individuals who have lapsed
into impoverished modes
who relish its comforts
and decide to stay
 
COMFORTS?
 
yes, like:
experiencing the comforting power of making people fear you, your temper, your unfairness, injustice, your well-practiced ability to mock, belittle, undermine
 
yes, like:
experiencing the exquisite attention you get when you are a (a victim, a celebrity, very rich, very beautiful, very talented etc.)
 
•    •    •
 
and there is no recourse
there is no avoiding impoverished modes
 
because
 
there is really
no human
no human activity
no human trait
that does not have its own impoverished mode
including
music and love and every other good thing
 
and it is easier to fall down
than to climb up
 
it is easier to stay in one side
that has been so successful
 
than it is to remember the other side
and include it whenever possible
 
example:
we are always receiving never giving
 
the further we go down into the impoverished mode
of receiving, the longer we stay there
the more hardship we create for those around us,
the more of their time we waste as associates or family try to make us happy
and if they chafe or become resentful
we say they weren't brought up right,
or they always were difficult
 
we never see that it is us in the impoverished mode
making our family, friends and helpers
more and more frustrated
brow-beaten or resentful
 
•    •    •
we live in an orchard
of always ripe pairs of opposites
each one is an equobenity
because both sides are good.
 
but each side has its impoverished mode
it dangles off the bottom
it's so easy to drift down
to a u. to an o.
 as they say
even salt loses its savor
 
you owe yourself something better than that u. o.
 
but read on
because there is a worse place than the u. and the o.
to fall into:
 
•    •   •
BUT FIRST:
 
every equobenity
every pair of opposites
is part of a
structure
 
the structure can be viewed as a mental map
with six locations
(not just four)
 
 
the very middle of the map is where you will find
equobenities and impoverished modes
 
 
between these four positions
all human choice takes place
here are the actions each location makes on the structure
e. goes to q. and back
e. goes down to u. and back
q. goes to e. and back
q. goes down to o. and back
u. goes to e. --or o. goes or q. --and back
o. goes to e. --or u. goes to q. --and back
u. and o. go howling back and forth
 
superb and daring human moves
 despairing, arrogant human moves
 are each made on this broad rectangular field
a field which is
wide enough for time
neutral and receptive enough for change
unsurprised by science
or music, by genocide or comets
 
above this field of jousting choices
is the T.
a place excluded from choice
 
together with e. and q. T. forms a triangle
 
 
below the field of choice
where strength can be defeated by weakness  
is the g.
together with the u. and the o., g. forms a triangle
 
 
(And what is T.? Is that a good place to be?)
Hang on; it's on its way
(What is g.? It is the g. position the one you want to stay away from)
Hang on; it's on its way
 
•    •    •
 
the map needs these six locations
if Choice is to operate freely
 
And Choice does operate freely.
Choice doesn't need us to educate it about its map
to tell it where it should or should not be going
 
Choice does its thing regardless
just as water does its thing
just as mercury or oxygen do their thing
               
THE MAP OF CHOICE IS USED
FOR THE EXACT DEFINITION OF AN
UNCERTAINTY
OR OF A
DILEMMA
 
•    •    •

Using the MAP

if you drive a car

you will likely use roads

if you know where you are going you don't need a map

if you don't know where you are going

a map will be a good thing to have

(a GPS can be too precise

whereas

a map shows you all the options)

(this actually, is an equobenity that applies currently:

e. digital gps, very specific              q. paper map, many choices)

 

a map is neutral

the map doesn’t urge you to go one way

and not another

it accepts whatever you choose

(so does equobenity)

 

and if you get lost

it tells you what roads to take

so you are no longer lost

(so does equobenity)

 

equobenity

is an option-giving kind of a map

it won't persuade

 

you, the driver is free to go in any direction you choose

equobenity will never display disapproval

not even disbelief or regret over your very worst choices

 

YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN

equobenity will never

shake its head in alarm

or scream at you to "Watch out!"

it will never be self-righteous

and say "I told you so"

 

(even though it did tell you

if only you had looked at the map)

 

the map and the structure of equobenity is the same thing

 

equobenity is not an ideology

or a "path" or a "way" or a "journey"

it doesn't tell you what to believe

or what to disbelieve

it is a tool, a diagnostic instrument

•   •   •

summary so far

equobenity is part of a six-pointed structure

the noun Equobenity always

refers to two things

 

it refers to

any one pair of opposites

and

it refers to the

structure of which it is a part

 

The structure of equobenity

locates where you are now

and where you can choose to go next

either immediately

tomorrow

next year

or perhaps never

•    •    •

all this refers to the actions

of an individual

several individuals

 

it can also refer to the actions

of an organization such as an NGO

a provincial government

a national government

 

it can refer

to laws, things, and all the customs

individuals love, need and abide by

 

it is everywhere

--like the color blue--

and nowhere

it gives information

to anyone who takes a look

you bring to it

your own values

your own ethic

your own desires, dreams and questions

 

•    •    •

the names on the map

come from the word "equobenity"

so the locations for choice are: e. q. u. and o.

e.             q.

THIS IS THE EQUOBENITY

THE PAIR OF OPPOSITES

 

u.             o.

THESE ARE THE IMPOVERISHED MODES

e. LAPSES DOWN TO u.

and

q. LAPSES DOWN TO o

 

MAP

FOR

DENY/AFFIRM

e. deny
Benefits:
1.
2.
etc.
 
u. always deny
never affirm
results in"
1.
2.
3.
4.
etc. *
q. affirm
Benefits:
1.
2.
3.
etc.*
o, always affirm
never deny
results in:
1.
2.
3.
etc.*

*

please notice this etc.

because every person is unique,

and has their own ideas,

the structure of equobenity

must

always

leave room for

unfilled lines and for

etc.

 

after all,

there is absolutely no

limit

to the things people will think of saying

 on any given subject

 

this open and accepting attitude about knowledge about people is

so important

one could name

the whole enterprise of equobenity very simply as:

"Etc."

•    •    •

why is there no limit

to either the number of equobenities in the world

or to the numbers of opinions people have about these equobenities?

 

because

every action

and every judgment about that action

is determined

by the action's context

plus the point of view of individuals

the extra slots and the ETC.

are

Rashomon writ large

 

(this being so it is a perfect marvel

so many people agree so much of the time

 

luckily truth and ethics get involved

luckily all people everywhere

appear to set high value on truth and ethics

innate choice of the good

a Tilt toward the good

we'd all have been killed otherwise

Right?

Whew!)

 

•     •     •

CHOICE

 

UNTIL WE ARE

BRAIN-DEAD

WE ARE MAKING

CHOICES

 

SILENCE

IS A CHOICE

 

EQUOBENITY

IS A METHOD

OF EVALUATING

CHOICES

 

ITS

STRUCTURE

GIVES A VISUAL

IMAGE

OF WHAT THE

CHOICES ARE

AND

WHAT WILL BE

THE RESULT

OF ANY PARTICULAR CHOICE

•   •   •

Another equobenity, another summary

e. I want what I want now                        q. I can wait for what I want

u. is the impoverished mode of e. :

when you are in the u.

you are refusing to wait

and you ruin everything

 

o. is the impoverished mode of q. :

when you are in the o.

you always wait and end up never

getting what you want

 

your choices

go back and forth between e. and q.

 up and down between e. and u.

and between q. and o.

 

and your choices go

diagonally e. to o. and back

or

q. to u. and back

 

between these four letters of e. and q. u. and o.

all choices get made

all humans

all of the time

ever since

humans walked on the ground

•    •     •

NO CHOICE

equobenity

has two further locations

on its structure

 

(we are finally getting to why you don't want to be in g.)
 

one of these cannot be chosen; the other can be

but usually it happens without anyone's volition

 

T. transcendence (very very common)

T. is good and we desire this

 

g. garbage (not nearly as common as the media make out)

g. is bad and most of us will do anything to avoid it

•

T. is never under our control

it is only a

result

 

it is a result

in the same way that happiness or a pregnancy cannot be guaranteed

 

g. also is also not a deliberate choice

 

(we have to work our way through so many impoverished modes

to get there and by then we are no longer thinking about having a choice)

 

we can't avoid g. once we have chosen

to remain nailed up

into one or more coffins of impoverished modes

 (we come to rely on them)

 

actually

it's a very weird thing

but

everything about being in the lower triangle

of equobenity's structure

is a lot easier and more certain

than being in the top triangle

 

hard triangle:


easy triangle:

once we get stuck in one or more impoverished modes

once we get used to how cozy impoverished modes actually are

 

"so familiar, so reliable

and how we make everyone obey us or try to please us"

 

•    •    •

So here again is the map showing its 6 positions

two of which can't be chosen.

Both T. and g. give you the result of your choices

the way a thermometer gives the temperature of the body.

 

T. tells you if your choices have been creative and good.

 

g. tells you if your choices have been bad,

harming both yourself and others




 

T. stands for transcendence. T. is the result of appropriate and good choices between e. and q.

 

Equobenity's T. is the transcendence of how you have used the opposing pairs. T. is "the new thing". Sometimes "the new thing" has been in one's life a long time. Showers for example, are usually in the T. position. Just the right amount of e. (hot water) and just the right amount of q. (cold water). But sometimes, if the faucet stops producing hot water, the shower is suddenly not a T.  at all

Or, to expand the scale, sometimes your shower uses the very last of your village's water supply. Maybe you were in a dangerous impoverished mode by taking that shower. Now you are about to be beheaded by thirsty villagers.

 

on to the g. position

g. is the garbage position. The source of the most shattering of human harms arise from individuals in the g. position.

 

g. is the result of bad choices between perhaps one initial e. and q.  Or perhaps bad choices between more than one e. and more than one q. Maybe nearly all the e. s and q. s in a doomed person's life have lapsed into their respective impoverished modes leaving the now doomed person down below there to languish self-importantly in h/is self-inflicted misery.

 

(Note: this is about people who do bad things to others

It is not about the others, the kidnapped, the poor and wretched, the abandoned and depraved

who are the innocent victims)

 

many impoverished modes can come together,

solidify,

and without any choice being made,

fall by their own weight into the g. position.

 

what was once merely inflexible

becomes as stubborn as stone

becomes impervious to alternatives

no misery can persuade such a person to look at what h/e is creating

 

it's very easy

amazingly easy (hubris anyone?)

to get into

and to stay in

one, two or many

impoverished modes

 

it feels comfortable

it feels powerful

 

everyone

has to cope with you

placate and obey you

you rob those over whom you have power

you rob them

 of their freedom

their youth, their will, their longings

their opportunities

 

•    •    •

people in the g. position are immune to reason or pity

 both men and women:

individuals

who are indifferent or cruelly rapacious,

who mock, neglect or belittle their children

betray

those to whom they owe friendship, loyalty and understanding.

 

all of such individuals have "trashed" themselves.

 

what were their initial equobenities?

we can guess

we can't know

all choice has melded together in a kind of horrible slurry

indistinct

like the garbage you don't want to search through

looking for that fork

 

•    •    •

the choices

in the equobenities

may be common ones

easy to notice if you are curious

if they are easy and pleasant

to live with and shift around

 

e.g.

relax/work like the devil

speak out/keep diplomatically quiet

praise a child/scold a child

put up with a spouse/cherish a spouse

 

but

sometimes

the equobenities

are furiously distinct

incorrigibly difficult

heartbreaking

 

e.g.

choose the wrong spouse

get into the wrong line of work

choose the wrong medicine

help to corrupt a political party in order to "win"

take the wrong exit

show preference for one child over another

look out the window when driving

corrupt your new government

 

nevertheless, mistakes

 can be strengthening

clarifying

can be an e. or a q.

because

they create opportunity

because

what doesn't kill us

increases capacity

promotes wisdom

 

•    •    •

 

When good choices are made we create the T. the transcendence.

This happens all the time, to all of us

it means we are

"living in the equobenities."

simple things like:

Context: dressing

equobenity:

  e. modestly                           q. to show off

 

difficult & complex things like:

 

Context: working women with children who are still at home

equobenity for them:          

       

e. being fully present
 
to children when home
q. being fully present
 
to work when at work

or

 

 Context: as head of state you sometimes/often have to choose between:

 
Equobenity:
  e. one's principles
q. one's ambition

or

 

Context: the health of the state and nation when you are its leader

Equobenity:

    e. rights and freedom    
q. protection and law

•    •    •

 

equobenity refuses to suggest or persuade

it is unable to proselytize

it doesn't scold or condemn

it is purely informational

 

•    •    •

Sometimes when you choose one side

you know you will have an opportunity to choose the other side

at some other time

e.g.

sleep late today

ignore someone

be frank

take a chance

eat as much as you want

 answer the telephone

be introverted

100s of others

 

at other times you never have another chance to choose again

e.g.

become pregnant with this child

fail to prevent a suicide

marry

refuse the last flight out

tell the truth in this context

fail to declare your love

take poison

 

•    •    •

 

when you are in the

top triangle


you find diversity, clarity, challenge

difficulties

and endless edifying distinctions

 

when you are in the

bottom triangle

 

everything is the same, like garbage:

complaints, sour grapes

collecting injustices to yourself

guilt, self-justification

 

so many people would feel lost

if there wasn't something to complain about

 

•    •    •

 

T.

knowing the truth of both e. and q.

living this truth comfortably

e. "We are of such stuff as dreams
are made of", insubstantial
quantum particles subject
to the vagaries of observation,
luck and chance, easily per-
suaded, quickly forgotten, high
of purpose and resolve.
q. We are solid, substantial; we
love, we choose, we make
things happen; others rely
on us and we on them. We
are born, we live, we die; we
are remembered, for good,
mostly, by those who follow.